The Power of Acceptance

We live in a time where perfection and high achievement are heralded as badges of honour, especially on social media, so the concept of acceptance might seem counterintuitive. Yet, acceptance can be a game changing part of how we can improve our mental health.

I wanted to take a moment to consider why the power of acceptance is important and offer some practical steps for moving from inner conflict to a more accepting mindset.

Before I do so, I want to stress that acceptance does not mean resignation or giving up, it doesn’t mean not working to improve circumstances or wellbeing. Instead, it is the acknowledgment of your current reality, embracing life's imperfections, and understanding that certain things are beyond your control. Acceptance allows us to make peace with our circumstances, our past, and even aspects of ourselves that we might wish were different.

Let's take a really simplistic example, the weather. You might let bad weather affect how you're feeling or even see it as an indication of a bad day to come. You might spend time and energy wishing the weather was different. Instead, you can simply observe the weather, acknowledge it as something that you cannot change, and learn to accept it. Admittedly, a very over simplified example, but I'm sure you get my point.

Why Acceptance Matters for your Mental Health

One of the benefits of practicing acceptance is a reduction to the level of stress and anxiety being experienced. When you stop fighting against the inevitable or unchangeable, you conserve energy and reduce the constant state of tension. This doesn't mean you are ignoring your problems; rather, you can learn to approach them from a place of calm and clarity, without resistance.

Acceptance helps to equip us with emotional resilience too. By observing and accepting difficult emotions, you learn that you are capable of experiencing and surviving them. This resilience plays an important role in navigating life's ups and downs.

In our interactions with others, acceptance fosters healthier and more authentic relationships. When you are able to accept people as they are, without trying to change them and without judgement, you create a foundation for genuine connection and mutual respect. This also applies to self-acceptance, which is fundamental to building self-esteem and self-compassion. I should highlight here that accepting others for who they are does not mean you cannot have or enforce boundaries, but rather you can set boundaries from a position of acceptance. For example ‘I can accept them for who they are, and I accept I cannot change them, but I cannot allow them to impact me in this way’.

“Self-esteem refers specifically to how valuable, or worthwhile, we see ourselves, self-acceptance alludes to a far more global affirmation of self. When we’re self-accepting, we’re able to embrace all facets of ourselves—not just the positive, more ‘esteem-able’ parts.” -Seltzer 2008

Ironically, acceptance can even be the very catalyst for the change we are looking for. By acknowledging and accepting our flaws and limitations, we can identify areas for improvement without harsh self-criticism. This gentle approach encourages self-improvement in a more sustainable and compassionate way.

Moving from Inner Conflict to Acceptance

Transitioning from inner conflict to acceptance is a journey that requires conscious effort and practice. Below are just some things to consider which may help you to make this move.

Firstly, be aware that perfectionism can be a real barrier to acceptance. By letting go of the need to be, or be seen as perfect and embracing your humanity, you open yourself up to acceptance. This involves being kind to yourselves and recognising that everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. I often refer to the importance of progress over perfection, and I think that is relevant here.

Recognising and acknowledging what is causing your inner turmoil is essential too. This might be a difficult emotion, a personal failure, or an uncontrollable event or circumstance. By naming and acknowledging the issue, you can begin to take away its power over you. This is something that both cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness practice can help with.

Mindfulness is a powerful tool for fostering acceptance. By staying present and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can find a more accepting mindset. Mindfulness teaches us to experience and observe emotions without being overwhelmed by them. This goes hand in hand with self-compassion, the practice of treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer a friend. When we are compassionate towards ourselves, we create a supportive inner environment that fosters acceptance.

Another technique is the use of cognitive reframing. This involves changing the way you think about or perceive a situation. Instead of seeing a mistake as a failure, try to view it as a learning opportunity. Reframing helps to approach life's challenges with a more positive and accepting outlook.

The path to acceptance is challenging, but seeking support can be incredibly beneficial. Whether through therapy, support groups, or talking to loved ones, having someone to share your journey with can make a significant difference.

If you would like to discuss how CBT and Mindfulness could help you please do not hesitate to contact me.

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